After many days of wanting to cry alone in the bathroom, I am asking for help. Aubree has be unruly for days. Example: playing in her food, lying, yelling and demanding things ext. I have tried time out, spanking (I really didn't want to do it) taking away toys and taking away privileges. But nothing phases her. She just sasses me more or walks away with a smirk on her face. If anyone has tricks or new forms of discipline please leave me a comment. I fear it is only a matter of time before I move to Mexico and change my name...please help!
8/5/08
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7 comments:
I wish I could give you some brilliant advice that would solve all your problems because I totally know how you feel. Praying helps. So does loving her, however hard that is right now, and I know it can be next to impossible. Sorry I don't have more inspiring words for you. Good luck!
I've been pretty lucky so far - when Kylie gets like that usually a nap cures everything. Sometimes when she's being especially sassy I just ignore her and let her know I don't hear her when she's sassy or whiny, but I'll listen if she can talk to me nicely. Also, complete isolation usually makes her apologize. So hard - aren't the twos supposed to be the hard years? BTW - love your blog!
When you figure it out let me know. I have a sassy one too!
It's probably because you took away her dog..........I'm just teasing!!! There are some great books out there...I'm reading like 3 of them now....I like "soft spoken parenting" and "the 5 love languages for children".....I always take something away that Brenten really loves, like no wii today, or no playing with the neighbors.....good luck!
Oh and call me anytime!!
I know Aubree and Tyler are close in age and it sounds like they are struggling with similar issues. Tyler gets aggressive at times. Happens that we're in a good spell but both boys get aggressive now and then.
Spanking totally never worked for Tyler. NEVER WORKED. It is more like he just doesn't care about it. Time outs are ok but I've read a few places that question sending a kid off by himself to change his decision making process. And its true. Time out really doesn't work.
What does work for us is a few things. First, (this is annoying because I have to take time to do it) when we have an issue, we sit down together (its hard with a second kid but still) and talk about it for a few minutes. Even if we're just sitting there he's with me instead of by himself. The other thing we do is give him options. We discovered that Tyler feels better and acts better if he isn't forced to act. Rather we let him choose. Sometimes its between two good things and others its more "do this good choice and you'll have this consequence" or "you can choose this bad decision and have this consequence." The changes are not instant but they are real and wonderful.
We started preschool this summer and its been a nightmare until two weeks ago. Then finally, changes started happening. He still struggles a little but he's making good choices and we're seeing HUGE results.
We mostly do one minute type disciplines. Basically you talk to the child about what they did wrong and why it is wrong. Then you Talk to them about how good they are and about how great it is when they make good choices. Basically you're not condemning them but correcting and reassuring. I've always been careful because otherwise I'm just telling the child what they are doing wrong.
We've also taught our kids that all people are good but some people make bad choices/decisions. We do a lot of "thats a good decision" "great job making a good choice" etc.
My second Tyson/Jimmy/James is 2.5 now and is my manipulator. He sasses and smirks and laughs at you. The biggest thing there has been being consistent AND always following through on threats, though making sure that you give appropriate threats.
It sounds like the best option right now is making life simpler, less toys, less fun stuff, and when she gets out of line stopping everything and sitting with her. And keep doing that until she understands the choices she is making.
Its been interesting watching Tyler this last two weeks because he's recognizing how he feels when he makes good choices. And for the first time tells us directly that he's trying to make good choices. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm bragging. We're just having a good few weeks. This has been a huge struggle for us. Especially since otherwise our children are WONDERFUL. They are really fantastic well behaved kids. But now and then, seriously, some naughty decisions get made.
And I'm glad you commented on my blog. I've added ya to my reader and I can't wait to keep in touch better.
You don't know me, I used to be in the ward before you moved in. I just saw your post and wanted to tell you about a great book that changed our family's life. It's called "1-2-3 Magic", you can get it in the Columbus library system. There's also a DVD for dads who don't have as much time to read that goes along with the book. I had at least 3 people recommend this book to me before I finally caved and checked it out. I wish I had done it earlier!!!! Good luck to you :o) It's worth the effort, I promise...
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